


MonoKrome

by NormalGuy31



Category: Adventure Time, More fandoms will be added later, Multi-Fandom, Original Work
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alcohol, Assassins & Hitmen, Comedy, Explicit Language, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-01
Updated: 2014-11-04
Packaged: 2018-02-06 18:25:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1867860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NormalGuy31/pseuds/NormalGuy31
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The world is in a state of crisis when mysterious creatures called “The Monochrome” start attacking the streets of New York City. It is up to a foul mouthed man to travel to different universes and assassinate the leaders of the creatures in order to save his world.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

 

“And stay out!” A man was thrown out of a bar in New York City. The drunkard stood up, stumbling in the process. “Whatever! Your bar sucks anyway.” The manager slammed the door. The drunkard spit on the ground out of despite and walked away.

The drunk murmured to himself as he walked down the dark alley. Mostly about “this Hick town” and “his Shitty life”. As he walked further, the alley got darker. Then footsteps followed behind him. He turned around to see a dark figure standing before him.

“The fuck do you want?” asked the drunk. The stranger didn’t reply, but stared back. The drunk wasn’t pleased with being ignored. He walked up to the dark figure. “Hey! I asked you what the fuck do you-”

Before the drunk could make contact with him, black tentacles came out of the dark figure’s back. Surprised, the drunk fell backwards. His eyes were wide open and a sense of fear seemed to fill the area. The drunk got up and ran in the other direction. But the tentacles grabbed him before he could go any further. The drunk screamed as he was being dragged closer to the figure. “No… No!” his voice echoed into the city.

“NOOOOOOO!!!”

* * *

In an office sat a man alone at a desk. The phone’s ringing echoed through the whole room. The man answered it immediately. “Moshi moshi motherfucker.” He said in a scratchy voice.

“There has been another incident.” The caller said in a wheezy voice.

The man sighed. “What was it this time?”

“The body was found behind a dumpster. No eyeballs were found, blood was abnormally dark colored but still warm.”

“God dammit.” The man said. “I hate these little dicks. They’re like tumors.”

“What can we do?”

“… I may have found a solution. Give me a minute.” The man scrambled through all his papers until he found the one that he wanted. “Here it is.”

“What is it?”

“Apparently some asshole decided to apply to be a janitor here. But his resume sucks. But, it may be good enough for another job here.”

He looked at the application. The name in box read ‘Axl Crash’ in chicken scratch handwriting.

* * *

At an apartment complex in New York City, in room 31, lived a man sleeping in a bed. If you could see the unsanitary conditions of the room, you could automatically tell that the man that lived here was unemployed and unmarried. The walls of the room were filled with rock band posters from AC/DC to Zeppelin.

The alarm clock rang, filling the whole room with its loud noises. “WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE-”

The man clicked the snooze button.

Five minutes went by.

“WAKE UP! WAKE- click“

Then ten.

“WAKE UP YOU DUMB SHIT! WAKE- click”

And another ten.

“LISTEN YOU FUCKFACE BALLSACK! YOU BETTER BE GETTING YOUR ASS OUT OF BE-“

The sleeper slammed the clock yet again.

Fifteen minutes went by.

“WHY DON’T YOU GET A LIFE YOU USELESS PIECE OF SHIT! I’M A MACHINE AND I STILL GET MORE PUSSY THAN YO-”

The man kicked the alarm clock off table.

Another thirty minutes passed.

“GO FUCK YOURSELF WITH A GARDEN GNOME CAUS’ I’M NEVER GOING TO LET YOU SLEEP AGAIN! AHAHAHAHA!” The sleeping man had decided it was the last straw as he got up and stared at his alarm clock like he was out for blood. He then grabbed his alarm clock and threw it at the closed window. As it broke through the window and plummeted to the ground, the alarm clock still laughed maniacally.

The man yawned as he walked over to the mirror. He saw a tall, skinny pale as a ghost male. He had wavy dark brown hair that went down to the tip of his shoulders. His eyes matched the color of his hair. A soul patch grew on his face with a 5 o’ clock shadow around it. The man smiled.

“This is going to be a good day.” He then walked over to the bathroom, scratching himself in the process.

* * *

After a quick shower the man got dressed. He put on a pair of jeans with a hole in the left knee, a pair of red converse, and an open brown and white plaid flannel shirt with a black shirt underneath with a Bad Religion's cross-buster logo on it. To top it off, he wore a brown beanie.

The long haired man walked into the living room to check his mail left through the mail slot on the door. He picked the mail and skimmed through it. “Spam, spam, spam… ah! The response to my application!” He opened the letter to read the following.

_“_ _Dear Axl Crash,_

_We regret to inform you that your application for the job you were attempting to receive has been denied. This is due to the fact that the resume you sent did not meet our expectations. We recommend the following for future applications:_

  * _Be careful to keep your application neat and clean. The one you sent in was wrinkled and torn; there was also a food stain on it. We believe it was peanutbutter._
  * _“Being a badass” does not count as a reliable skill._
  * _Please do not use your friend’s pet cat as a reference. Or any animal in this case._
  * _Companies don’t care that you own a pair of Bam Margera’s underwear. Actually, the fact that you own a pair is mildly disturbing._



_We wish you luck on finding a job in the future._

_Sincerely,_

Employment Opportunities  
The Madison Square Garden Company's Administrative Offices _”_

“God Dammit!” Axl yelled as he crumpled up the paper and threw it in the garbage. “I think it’s Fluffypaw. When they call, he’s supposed to try and sell me.” A knock came at the door. Axl sighed as he opened it. There stood a large old man with a beard and an eye patch.

‘Just what I need.’ Axl thought ‘My landlord coming to bitch at me.’

“Now listen here, whippersnapper,” said the landlord “I am tired of you skipping deadlines to pay the rent.”

“Bro, calm down. I have a plan to get employed at-“

“You’ll never get employed. You can’t even get your foot in the door!”

“Well excuuuuuuuuuuse me, princess. I am trying my best here.”

“Best ain’t gonna cut it.”

“Pff- what are you? My mom?”

“Listen, if you don’t get a job by the end of the week, you’re going to get a foot in your ass… While you pack your bags and leave my apartment complex.”

“How the hell am I supposed to get a job in a week? Do you have a job opening for me?”

“Oh hell no, Fluffypaw told me about you.” He lifted his chin while he left. “Good day sir!”

Axl was a bit pissed off at the whole situation. He slammed the door. “That’s it. I’m not using him as a reference anymore.” While walking to the couch, he kicked a random soccer ball lying on the floor. The flying ball bounced off the wall and straight back into Axl’s face. Axl was knocked back by the unstoppable force. As stars danced around his head, the phone started ringing in his ear. Axl snapped back to reality. He got up just in time to answer the phone.

“Hello?”

“Hello, is Axl Crash on the line?”

“That’s my name, don’t wear it out.”

“Yes, the manager of our company is pleased that you signed up to be an employee for our company.”

Axl’s eyes were shot open. “R-really?”

“Yes, the head of MRC is requesting an interview with you.”

Axl remembered applying for that company. He never took the time to figure out what MRC actually meant. But hey, he got the job.

“Oh, thank you. When is it?”

“It says here” the caller hesitated for a bit. “Immediately if possible… and it also says that you can wear anything to the interview as long as your genitals are covered…”

“Awesome! Thanks!”

Axl hung up. He grabbed is wallet with a chain on it and walked out the door. There, he was greeted with his landlord. He stuck his finger in Axl’s face.

“Oh, and another thing. About the toilet. You’re not supposed to-“

Axl push him aside “Bitch, get out of the way. I have an interview to get to.”

* * *

Axl got on the nearest bus to Manhattan. While relaxing, he decided to watch the television that was on the bus. It was set on a local news station.

“We have breaking news,” announced the anchorwoman. “A man has been found dead in an alley in the Queens district. The details of the found body’s condition were too gruesome to say on the air.”

‘ _This is said every time_ ,’ thought Axl. _‘Why can’t these assholes just admit that we have a serial killer in the city?’_ Axl sighed as he waited for his stop.

* * *

Axl walked into a building with an MRC logo on the doorway. He was then met with a woman at a desk.

“Yo,” Axl said to the woman. She then lifted her head.

“May I help you?”

“Yes, I’m Axl Crash. I am here for an interview.”

The woman raised an eyebrow. “In that?”

“Yes, is there a problem?”

“You can’t be serious” The woman shook her head. “You’re going to embarrass yourself.”

“Yeah whatever, what floor is the manager on?”

“The highest floor, but he doesn’t want his time wasted with yo-” The woman stopped mid-sentence to realize that poorly dressed man had disappeared.

* * *

Axl walked down the hallway to find the nearest elevator. As soon as he found one he pressed the button to call the elevator to him. When the elevator came to his floor, it opened to reveal a man sitting at the corner. He had messed up black hair and a mustache. The only thing he was wearing was sunglasses, a pair of red briefs and a silk red jacket. He looked up to see Axl stand before him. He let out a wheezy scream.

Axl Jumped back out of surprise. “What the fuck?” The man continued to scream at him. “Who the fuck are you?” Axl asked.

The man responded. “I’m Santa’s brother… On crack”

“Yeah, you’re on something alright. Why are you here?”

“I am the guardian of the elevator. Why did you come here?”

Axl hesitated for a bit. “I’m here for an interview?”

“Ah, you must be Axl. Please step in. I shall take you to him.”

Axl thought for a moment that he shouldn’t follow him. But then he shrugged it off and stepped in. Santa’s brother then stood up and pressed a combination of buttons on the board.

“Why are you doing that? I thought that you were going to take me-”

“It’s a secret code. The master does not want to be disturbed, so he put a secret combination on the elevator,” responded the guardian. “Dumbass.”

Axl threw his arms in the air and went with it.

* * *

The elevator reached the top floor. The floor only had a giant door. Axl stepped out while Santa’s brother ran to the speaker box next to the door. He held the button to communicate with the person inside.

“Mah Brotha’ it’s me.”

“What do you want?” The man on the speaker had a scratchy voice. “Can’t you see I’m having some… alone time…”

“It’s Axl. He has arrived.”

“Ah shit, he’s here? Hold on for a moment.” After the reply, Axl could hear a zipping sound followed by sound of objects crashing. “Okay okay, let him in. But him only.”

Santa’s brother opened the door for Axl. As he entered the room, the giant door shut behind him. Axl could see the room. There was only a desk with a computer on it, an office chair facing away from him and a plethora of television screens behind the desks.

“Hello? I’m here for the interview.”

“I have been expecting you Axl.” The office chair spun around, revealing the man himself. He was an Asian with silky black hair, glasses, and a blue buttoned shirt. “You see, we are looking for new recruits, and you seem to be the one to get the job done.”

“Ah yes.” Axl replied “I’m sure those bathrooms need some cleaning.”

“No, that is not why I want to recruit you.” Axl raised an eyebrow after the comment. “You see, we have another task for you.”

“What would that be?”

“Have you watched the news lately?” asked the unknown man. “There has been a bunch of killings around this city.”

“Well yeah, I believe there is some serial killer terrorizing the town.”

“Not Killer. Killers.”

Axl shot back “Huh?”

The man stood up and walked around the desk “Axl, Do you know what MRC even stands for?”

Axl shrugged. “Nope.”

The man stared back at him “Are you fucking serious? You applied to this place and you never knew what we do? Are you that stupid?”

Axl scratched his head. “Well-“

Suddenly the man laughed maniacally. “Just kidding asswipe. You see, we never show anyone what we do. Because we work secretly for justice.”

“What the hell are you trying to say?”

“Axl, I want you to join us. Join us to combat these killers known as the Monochrome.”

“Monochrome?”

The man pressed a button on his desk. The monitors behind him came to life and displayed many monsters brutally killing people. Axl rubbed his eyes to make what he was seeing was true.

“What the fuck?” he replied.

“These are the monochrome. Vicious creatures known to attack humans. Their purpose for attacking is still unknown. MRC stands for Monochrome Resistance Corporation. It is our duty… heh, ‘duty…‘ Our duty to eliminate the monsters from this universe.”

“Universe?”

“Am I getting a bit ahead of myself? You see, these creatures don’t come from here. They come from another universe. They must be stopped at all costs.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on. Are you asking me to fight these creatures?”

“Well not technically fight them. There is a way to eliminate them all at once. These creatures have a total of 8 generals that wield black medals. I want you to kill them and steal their medals. If we bring all the medals together, it will have enough power to eliminate them all at once.”

“Holy shit! So much exposition.”

The man turned to him “So much exposition!”

Axl backed up a bit. “Okay, hold on. This shit is bananas.”

Suddenly a voice called from a nearby room, “DID SOMEONE SAY BANANA! I LIKE TO LICK THE BANANA!”

The man banged on the wall from where the voice was coming from. “Shut the fuck up!” he then turned to Axl. “So, are you up for the job?”

“Listen,” Axl responded “One, I have no idea what you are talking about. And two, I am not experienced with this vigilante shit.”

“We will train you to assassinate the generals. But listen, if these monochromes are not eliminated then it will not only spread through New York. But the world.”

Axl hesitated for a moment to think about this decision.

“I will not force you to make this decision,” Frank added.

“I don’t know,” Axl answered “This is all coming too fas-“

“We’ll pay you handsomely.”

“Deal,” Axl responded. “When do we start?”

"We will be on your first mission tomorrow. I hope you are well prepared.”

“Come on man. I didn’t put ‘Being a badass’ on my resume for no reason.”

“Right,” the man said sarcastically

“Anyway, I didn’t get your name.”

“They call me Filthy Frank,” he replied “But you can call me Sempai.”

“Eh… I’ll just call you Frank.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Axl begins his new job working for Frank. What will his first assignment be?

The very next morning, Axl was sleeping like the dead. He awoke to a loud knock at his door, bags under his eyes. He scratched his head as he looked around. “Ugh, what time is it.” He looked around for a clock until he remembered yesterday. “Oh yeah.”

He walked over to the door to see who was there. When he opened the door, his landlord was waiting for him. “Oh hello, compadre,” said Axl, “What seems to be the problem?”

He poked his sharp fingernail to Axl’s chest. “You got lucky. I just got off the phone with your employer. Saying you got a ‘new job’. What are you doing in the ‘new job’?”

Axl nearly forgot to to keep his occupation a secret, like Frank had said, so he came up with a quick idea. “Cleaning shit I guess.”

The landlord squinted at him. Axl gave a fake smile back. “Well congratulations.” said the landlord. He then walked away. Axl took a deep sigh and closed the door.

“Well, time to start the day.” Axl walked to his fridge to find breakfast. He brought out a can of cinnamon rolls.

* * *

 While the buns were baking, Axl showered and put his regular clothes on. He got a bottle of Rolling Rock out of the fridge. He opened the cap off and began drinking it. He then picked up a baked cinnamon roll and started eating it. Axl realized that the landlord brought his electricity back up. _‘Did Frank pay for me, or was he being nice?’_ Axl thought. _‘Who gives a shit? Time to watch tv.’_ Axl retrieved his remote and turned on the TV. He began flipping through different channels.

BZZT “Everybody gets free grandfather clocks! *Cheers from crowd* and you get and grandfather clock! And You-“ BZZT “THIS. IS. SPARTA!” BZZT “Getzlaf passes it to Perry. Shoots. And LUNDQVIST WITH A SAVE!” BZZT “ We would like to welcome reporter Virgil Jones to our interview.” Axl left the remote on the table. Virgil Jones was Axl’s high school friend. He couldn’t believe that he would end up being more successful than him.

The interviewer on the television was interviewing an obese dark skinned man. He was semi bald and had a beard. He was also wearing a fancy suit to go with it.

“Virgil, you’ve been on the murder cases in the city recently.”

“Yes.” Virgil replied. “When I’ve heard about these, I couldn’t think about anything else.”

“Now that you’ve seen these cases, what are your theories about it all?”

“You see, all the victims’ bodies had the same exact description. By all the evidence, I hypothesize that there is a serial killer in this town. And I am a bit confused on why it took investigators this long to figure it out.”

“Thank you!” Axl said as he raised his arms in the air and had a mouthful of cinnamon roll. He knew the full truth but somebody had to say something.

“You really think that?” said the interviewer. “A body with the same description was spotted 5 minutes after the attack on the other side of town. A killer can’t move that fast. Also, the gruesome descriptions of the victims are unrealistic. It seems like a fairy tale.”

Virgil pondered for a minute. “You see, we can’t let surrealism get in the way of crimes. These are real victims. And to answer your question from before, the serial killer is probably not working alone. I believe a gang might be involved with these cases.”

“Another question is why are they doing this? Do they know these people?”

“That… I can’t answer that,” replied Virgil. “We looked at the victims’ backgrounds and we couldn’t find any connection. The only result we got is that they were picked at random.”

Axl pondered about this for a moment. _‘“Why?” is a good question. Does Frank Know about this? I think I should know this when I am working in this job. Wait a minute, my job.’_ He looked at the time on the TV. It showed 15 minutes before the time expected to arrive at MRC.

“Fuck.” He dropped everything he had and rushed to the door. _‘Hold on,’_ he thought. _’ The stairs are too slow.’_ Then a light bulb appeared over his head. He jumped out the window.

 

* * *

Axl flew out of his 4 story apartment and landed in a dumpster. He jumped out and sprinted with lightning fast speed down the streets. Axl needed to get to Manhattan but he already knew that he was late for his subway stop. He decided to take a shortcut and swim to the island. After a couple strokes he got a cramp on his side. _‘Ah, this sucks,’_ he thought. But then he thought of idea. He began to make dolphin noises. Sure enough, a couple dolphins began jumping around him. “Holy shit, that worked! I wonder what I said?”

He rode on one of the dolphins up to a dock at Manhattan. Axl jumped off to the dock and faced the dolphin. _‘I should probably thank him just to be nice.’_ He began to attempt to speak dolphin. The dolphin smacked him in the face with his fin. “We speak English, dipshit,” said the dolphin as he began to swim the other direction.

Axl stood there with a bewildered face. “Yeah, I’ll figure that out later.” He then rushed off to his destination.

 

* * *

Axl burst into the door and decided to take a rest, putting his hands on his knees and panting for oxygen. He was then greeted with the guardian of the elevator. “Right on time, Axl.” Axl pumped his fist when he heard that he succeeded. “Please come with me.” He continued.

They then walked into the elevator. He pushed a button to get to the floor Frank wanted him to be on.

“So” said Axl “Do you know about the, uhh, mission?”

“The monochrome? Yeah.”

“Really? How did you know Frank?”

“All I can tell you that I have met him since I’ve been Santa’s brother.”

“Are you really Santa’s brother?”

“Yes and a bit of no.”

Axl raised an eyebrow “What the hell does that mean?”

The elevator reached its destination. As soon as the elevator opened, Santa’s brother pushed him out. “The boss will be meeting with you at the last door to your right.”

“Wait hold on.” The elevator door shut on him. “Dammit.” Axl decided to give up on the subject and continue with his instructions.

 

* * *

Axl opened the door and scanned the room. It was full of high tech equipment. There was a strange person spinning around in a small office chair. The man was wearing a pink body suit. The only thing showing was his face. He stopped spinning to see Axl standing at the door. He then got really excited and ran up to Axl. He then stared at Axl with a large smile on his face. Axl looked around to see if anyone was around. Nobody. He then looked back at the strange person and gave a fake smile.

“Uhh, hello?” Axl said to break the awkward silence.

The man only responded with gibberish that Axl couldn’t comprehend.

“I am sorry. I didn’t catch that.” Axl responded holding his hand next to his ear.

The man responded with even more gibberish and louder than his last attempt to have a conversation.

Axl sighed. “Sorry, I cannot understand you at all.”

The man got frustrated and began to scream. Axl was surprised by this that he put his back to the wall. The pink man took a burrito from the table and threw it against the wall. He began to laugh maniacally. Axl could only watch and try to figure out what the hell was going on. The man turned to Axl and began slowly walking toward him.

A shot of water hit the pink man.

“No, Pink guy! Bad! Bad!” Cried a familiar voice. The pink man retreated to a corner, having been shot by bullets of water.

Filthy Frank appeared with a spray bottle in his hand. “Now sit in the corner and think about what you’ve done.” The pink man sat in the corner crying moans of sadness.

Frank turned to Axl. “Sorry, that’s a colleague of mine. We call him Pink Guy. He gets a little… excited sometimes.”

“No prob man.” Axl replied. “So what is this place?”

“This, my friend, is where you will work.”

“Okay. What the hell is all this stuff?”

“I would give you details, but I don’t want to bore you or the readers with all this. So to sum it up,” Frank pointed to a large egg shaped container with a door with a wheel on it, “that is how you will teleport to the universes.” He then pointed to a corner with monitors and other high tech machines. “This is how we can monitor and communicate to you.”

“Ah yes. You did say I will be going to another universe. What was I doing in the universes again?”

“Assassinate the generals and steal their medals.”

‘ _That’s right, the monochrome.’_ Thought Axl. He remembered the question that the interviewer asked on the television. “Excuse me,” he said, “Can I go off topic about my work for a second?”

“Okay?”

“The monochrome, what do they want?”

“What do you mean?”

“They keep killing people in our world right? Why?”

Frank thought about this for a moment. “Like I said before, we actually don’t know. We just know that they’re assholes.”

Axl sighed when he received an answer that he didn’t want. “I guess if I’m fighting them, I’ll learn more about them.”

“And that is exactly why we hired your ass.”

Axl folded his arms. “Alright, where do I start?”

“You’re getting a bit ahead of yourself. Do you even know the dangers you are heading into?”

Axl only stared back. Frank facepalmed. “Look, you’ve seen how the monochrome attacked people. It’s going to be dangerous.”

“Danger is my occupation. Remember, you hired me.”

Frank just stared at him like he was an idiot. “Okay, if you are getting into these missions. You are going to need protection.” He turned to Pink guy. “Ey! Open it!”

Pink guy rushed to a large cabinet and opened it. There showed a large variety of weapons. It consisted of both close combat and ranged weapons. Swords, axes, bows, pistols, and assault rifles. Axl walked over to the cabinet and glanced at his selection. He then began rustling through the cabinet and brought out his selected weapon: a black and red wooden hockey stick. The flex was 100 and the face was open. “Perfect,” he said.

Frank just stared at him after he made that decision. “Are you retarded? A hockey stick?”

“I believe this will tak-”

“No! Over all the weapons I am willing to give you. You chose a fucking wooden hockey stick.”

“Do you question my way of dealing with the monochrome?”

Frank threw his arms up in the air. “Whatever. If you want to die. I don’t care.” Frank brought a watch out his pocket. “Here.” He handed him a watch.

“Huh? What’s this?”

“A watch, dumbass.”

“I know that. What’s so special about it?”

“This watch is important when you enter a different universe.” Frank pointed to different components to the watch. “This button allows us to communicate, this one allows you to return to our universe and this one makes tea.”

“Really?”

Frank laughed. “NO! It shows the time like a watch should do.”

Axl stared back at him with an annoyed look.

“Anyway.” Frank said “Get in the fucking machine and we will teleport you to your first mission.”

“Okie dokie daddy-o.”

“Never say that again.” Frank then walked to the computers.

Axl put his hockey stick in a sheath and wrapped it around his torso. He entered the teleporter and closed the door. Axl heard a ringing from his watch.

“Are you ready to enter your destination? We prefer you to stay there until the mission is complete.”

“Okay, got it. Flip it!”

The Pink man pressed a button on the computer. A deafening circling whirring noise came from the teleporter.

On Axl’s end, colors began to flash in quicker and quicker succession. After a couple moments, the flash color just turned a bright white. That was all Axl could see. Axl heard a whisper in his ear saying “Close your eyes.” Axl did as the voice said. “Now… Open.”

* * *

Axl opened his eyes to see a new landscape. Axl looked around to see a cartoony setting. Bright green grassy meadows were framed by purple mountains and a light blue sky. After scanning the environment the only words Axl could manage were “We’re not in Kansas anymore.”

Axl contacted Frank “Yo Frank Sinatra, where the hell am I?”

“You are in another world. Our data concluded that a general has been located in this world.”

“Well okay then. Who is this general?”

“That’s for you to find out.”

Axl’s eyes opened as he stared back at the watch. “The fuck you say?”

“We don’t have the technology to know who we are looking for.”

“Are you fucking kidding me? You have no idea what we are looking for? I feel like you just gave me a shovel and said ‘have fun’!”

“Axl, you have to calm down and listen to me!”

Axl glanced at a distance to see a flying rainbow unicorn as long as bus. “That’s a bit hard to do!”

“Axl! A bit of a mission briefing. You need to know who the general is and kill him or her.”

“How am I supposed to do that?”

“Get intel. Look around and get clues to who the general is.”

Axl sighed. “Fine, I guess I better start working.”

“One more thing. Don’t give yourself away. The generals don’t know who you are. As soon as they find out you’re here for their medal, they’ll fuck you up.”

“So find them before they find me?”

“Exactly, now get your ass moving.”

“Right.” Axl dropped the call. He began to ponder. _‘Maybe I’ll start with following that horse.’_

  


 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Axl begins his quest to assassinate the first general.

Axl walked on the hilly grasslands. He checked the time on his watch. “I’ve been walking for a fucking hour!” he complained. He sat down to take a rest and sighed. “Great. That’s just great. I have been taken to whoever fucking knows land and I have no idea who I’m supposed to be looking for.” Axl lied down on the grass and looked at the sky. “Man, I’m tired.” Axl yawned. “Maybe a quick nap will get me back on my feet.” Axl decided to close his eyes.

* * *

Among the hills, a young boy was walking with his bright orange dog.

“So Jake,” said the boy, “what should we do today?”

“I don’t know man. Is Princess Bubblegum busy?” The dog replied. And yes, the fucking dog is bipedal and talks.

“Probably. She has that party tomorrow.”

“Oh yeah, guess we shouldn’t disturb her then.”

They proceeded to talk and laugh at random things. Moments later, the dog stopped in his tracks to spot a lone man lying on the hills. He lengthened his extendable arms to tap the boy on the shoulder. “Dude,” he said. “There’s somebody there.”

The boy looked to see. He looked back at his friend. “Do you think he needs help?”

“I don’t know, let’s find out.” They proceeded to walk over to the unknown person. As soon as they got close enough, the boy said, “Whoa, I think it’s another human.”

The dog squinted. “He sure looks like one.” He turned to his “master.” “Is he dead?”

“I don’t know. Let’s find out.” The boy took a knee and touched his face. The mysterious figure used his hand to lazily swat at the boy’s hand. He stepped back out of surprise. “He’s alive.”

“Whoa man. I guess you’re not the only one anymore.” The dog said. “Let’s wake him up.” He stretched his arms out and started poking his face. “Poke, poke, poke.”

The sleeping man eyes finally started to open after all the ruckus. He then began to see the two strangers in front of him. He then began to comprehend what was in front of him. A young boy with blue shorts and shirt stood over him. He also wore a green backpack and a white bear hat thing. And next to him was an orange dog standing on his hind legs. He scratched his head. “Who in Satan’s asscrack are you guys?”

“Are you new around here?” said the canine.

Axl slowly turned his eyes towards the dog. “Did you just fucking talk?”

The boy and the dog looked at each other, and then turned back to him. “I don’t think we introduced ourselves,” said the dog. “I’m Jake, and this is my buddy Finn.”

The boy made a casual wave. “Yo.”

The man looked at the setting. “Where are we?”

“This place here?” asked Jake “This is the Land of Ooo. You’re not from around here are ya’?”

‘ _The Land of Ooo?’_ the man thought, _'Gotta be the stupidest name for a place I’ve ever heard. But I’m not surprised due to the batshit crazy landscape here. Well, whatever. I need to find the general here. Perhaps these guys can help me.’_ He realized he his thoughts pulled him away from the conversation.

“Hello? Anyone there?” Jake asked.

The man snapped back to reality and answered “Oh, sorry.” He gave a light chuckle. “Anyway, The name is Axl. Also, I haven’t been around here.”

“Then how’d you get here?” asked Finn. “Did you fall from the sky or something?”

Axl didn’t want to give away too much. One of them might be the general that Frank was talking about. “uhhh…. Yeah.”

“Wow,” said Finn with excitement. “Are you like, some angel that accidentally fell off of heaven?”

Axl looked around. He shrugged “Sure.”

“Radical!” The boy said with excitement.

“I don’t know man.” The perplexed dog said “How do we know he’s not lying. I mean, where’s his wings?”

“It’s a long story about a fishing pole and a walrus,” Axl responded, “I don’t really want to talk about it.”

“I’m not buying it.” Jake said.

“I know, Jake,” Finn shot back; “we put him to the test.”

“Good idea Finn.” Jake said

‘ _Ah shit, what did I get myself in?’_ thought Axl.

“We go to,” Finn said dramatically, “The Cave of Dark Freeze.”

Jake gasped. “Dude, Isn’t that the cave the Ice King abandoned years ago?”

“Yeah, I’ve heard that more evil creatures took it over when he left.”

‘ _Like the monochrome?’_ Axl thought. “Well I’m up for it.” He then said with determination.

“Ah yeah! Adventure!” shouted Finn. “Come on, it’s this way,” he said running the other direction.

* * *

A cave with a humongous entrance stood before them. There was a sign above it that said ‘The Cave of Dark Freeze. Keep out. Or else.’

Finn turned to Axl. “Are you ready for this?”

Axl crossed his arms. “Looks easy to me.”

The gang walked in all at once. The cave’s walls and floors were made of ice. It was also hard to see in the cave. Hence the name ‘The Cave of Dark Freeze’.

“So what is this test you guys have planned for me?” Asked Axl has he turned his head to Finn.

“Well, we want to see what kind of angel you are.”

“Huh?”

“You know, like a guardian angel or something.”

“Ok, how will you test me then?”

Finn pulled out a map in his backpack. “There is rumored that there is a crystal somewhere in the cave. We thought you could… well, bless us for good luck. You know, so we can get the crystal safely.”

Axl raised an eyebrow. “So you want me to sprinkle my magical angel dust so you automatically get good luck so you don’t die in this cave?”

“Yeah.” He replied.

‘ _Okay, now the author is pulling stuff out of his ass just to keep the story going,’_ thought Axl. “Whatever man. Let’s go find that crystal.”

* * *

“Finn, how long have we've been walking in this cave?” Axl asked while he did his best to keep himself standing straight.

“An hour.”

“An hour?!” Axl yelled. “How long is this fucking cave?!”

“I dunno.”

“What do you mean you don’t know?! Don’t you have a ma-” Axl closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “You know, how about we take a break?” Axl went to wall and sat down.

“Come on man.” Jake said “We can’t rest now. We must be close.”

“Sorry, this saint needs a breather.” Axl decided to lie down on the ice. Then suddenly the floor cracks. “What was that?” Axl said as he lifted up his head.

The floor collapsed underneath Axl. He fell through the hole screaming until he crash landed on another floor level below Finn and Jake’s.

Finn and Jake peeked through the hole. “Are you okay down there?” Jake shouted.

“Don’t worry,” Axl replied with a voice of pain, “I’m okay.”

“What do we do now?” Finn asked

Axl got back on his feet and looked around. He found another hallway leading to an area unknown. “Just keep going,” Axl replied to the gang. “I’ll meet up with you.”

“You sure about that?”

“Trust me. I’m an angel.” Axl sighed as he continued walking.

-

Axl walked through the endless hallway. “God dammit, where is this damn crystal? Where’s boy wonder and his dog too?” He then looked at his watch. “Is it too early to abort the mission?” Axl pondered, and then suddenly ran into a surface.

Axl looked to see what he ran into. It was a giant elaborate door with carvings of two humanoids that appeared to be worshiping a glowing crystal.

“I guess so,” he said.

He opened the door to see a large throne room. There were fractured pillars around. At the far end of the room was a large throne with a crystal like object on the cushion. It was lavender, and the reflection was so bright that Axl could see it from the other side of the room.

“Bingo,” he said. He walked over to the throne, oblivious to the fact that eyes were watching him from behind the pillars.

“Oh man,” Axl said, “I can’t wait to see the look on their faces when they see I got my hands on the crystal.”

Suddenly, a spear landed in front of Axl’s foot. Axl leaped back and turned to see a duo of Humanoid creatures that looked like Spartan warriors. Their only colors were black and white. They began closing in on Axl.

‘ _Hold on,’_ Axl thought _‘These look like the creatures that Frank showed me. Oh shit! They’re the Monochrome!’_

“Hey guys. How’s it going?” Axl said nervously as he slowly backed toward a pillar. “There’s no need for a fight. I mean, why would you want to start trouble?”

One of the monochrome used dark magic to create a spear. He then pointed the spear at Axl’s direction. Axl squinted as he looked directly at the spear. “I see your point.” Axl said.

The Spartan attempted to stab Axl but he quickly ducked under the spear to avoid the attack. Axl rushed over to the nearest cover as spears are being chucked at him.

As soon as Axl got to a safe position, he called Frank from his watch.

“Hello?” Frank answered

“Listen. I’m in a bit of a pickle here.”

“So what do you want me to do about it?”

“Help me get rid of these monochromes that are on my ass.”

“I’m not in that world to fight them. You go fight them.”

“Fight? I didn’t even get any training like you promised.”

“This is your training.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Have fun. Too bad you didn’t pick a better weapon like that piece of twig you have.”

‘ _That’s right,’_ Axl thought. He came out from his cover and unsheathed his hockey stick, wielding it in front of him. He ran over to the first Spartan he saw. As the Spartan threw a spear at him, Axl jumped over it and batted his helmet off. Both the helmet and the headless Spartan evaporated into black smoke.

Axl smiled. “Hey, I did it.” He was then interrupted as the second Spartan grabbed the back of his shirt and threw him against the wall. After the impact, Axl struggled to get up.

The Spartan walked slowly toward him, conjuring another spear.

Axl finally got up as the Spartan attempted to stab him. Axl sidestepped past the Spartan’s attack. He used his hockey stick to trip the Spartan behind his legs. As the Spartan was on the ground, Axl kicked the helmet off of him. Like the fate of the other monochrome, the helmet and the Spartan evaporated into black smoke.

Axl started panting from exhaustion. “Who else wants some?” Axl yelled in the empty room. Since he didn’t get an answer, he put his weapon back into his sheath. “That's what I thought.” Axl said to the empty room. He walked over to the throne to grab the crystal. Axl then heard footsteps from the other side of the room.

Finn and Jake appeared. “Axl,” Finn said, “there you are. Did you find the crystal?”

“Catch,” Axl said as he tossed the crystal to Finn.

Fin caught the mysterious object in his hands. “Wow!” Finn said “You must be an angel after all.”

Axl chuckled. “Come on bro,” he said as he walked past Finn and Jake. “Let’s get out of this cave.”

* * *

Axl and the gang are making their way out of the cave. Since Axl was ahead of the rest, Finn and Jake had a private conversation.

“Dude,” Jake said “Axl is cool.”

“I know man,” Finn responded. “Hey do you think we should invite him to Bubblegum’s party tomorrow?”

“Are you sure about that?” Jake questioned. “He did say he’s new to this place.”

“That’s true though. But, he needs more information here. What other way to get more information about the Land of Ooo than the ruler of the Candy Kingdom herself.”

“Yeah,” Jake pondered, “Why not? Maybe we’ll get more information about him too.”

“That’s the spirit Jake.”

 


End file.
